"It has not rained for months and one sure way of guaranteeing rain is to have a Stags Spring away day, especially if it is held in Leicestershire. And sure enough the groundkeepers wish (have you seen him doing the rain dance each afternoon about 6pm?) came true or at least in did in Ullesthorpe.

36 brave souls turned up even though the forecast was constant rain with intermittent storms. A lot of moaning but that is not unusual for Stags. To satisfy one of the Stags family commitments we sent him out first and unfortunately it was a three ball. According to them they finished an hour and ten minutes ahead of the next group who had been affected by an equipment malfunction (as well as a wimpish Stag) and two of that group had to share the task of pushing the wimp's trolley for the last nine holes. I think he must have had lead bars in the bag.

We were blessed by the appearance of the bard although his golf has deteriorated since he left for Llandudno but it was great to see him and it is a pity he is still not writing these reports.

We started with superb bacon rolls and good coffee and high anticipation tempered by a concern that the wetware may not be sufficient for what was coming.

However general good humour persisted, or perhaps it was gallows humour! The course was wet, something we haven't seen for weeks and long with many very long par fours. Scoring was therefore not brilliant. Persistent rain for our opening nine holes, was followed by a break in the rain when wet ware was discarded and the sun hoped for. The "dry" lasted about three holes before the wind got up, black clouds enveloped the skies, and really heavy rain started which caused all the Stags to re-don wet ware and run for the trees. This was the clearing up shower and later groups were able to dry out a bit in the late afternoon sun.

The lunch was served on a rolling basis and was coq au vin and al dente vegetables. Our resident master chef refuted the claim that it was coq au vin as evidently the coq had not been marinated in red wine for the appropriate time. You get all sorts!!

Prize giving followed with the nearest the pin won by Mick Brown, longest drive (the marker found after most Stags third shot) was won by Martin Darbey. In fourth place with 32 points was Jim Jobson, third was Bernie Ray with better back 3, second was basher Darbey with better back 9 and the winner with 33 points was Rohit Shah who also won the Bill Collier Cup, the first time it had been played for for four years.

The prizes were presented by a Past Stags Captain, the estimable John D Woodward. Now many of the more recent Stags may not know that John was a captain as his photo is not displayed in the rogue's gallery in the Changing Rooms. This is because John is notably shy and does not like his photo taken in case he is mistaken for Dorian Gray. We are attempting to rectify this so watch this space (or indeed the rogues gallery)

Scores on the day were as follows

On Monday 25th April the annual match between the Stags Captain's team and the Past Captain's team took place on a warm, dry but a little windy day. Each team had 11 pairs, so there were 11 matches, each comprising 6 mini matches. The opening two matches off the front nine and the opening match on the back nine made good time , but then there was a substantial gap as the next group followed the Stags adage of keeping up with the group behind and not the group in front. (and Ron was not even in the country!)

It was a good contest and the good weather allowed most of the competitors to wait together on the patio for the final result and presentation. The winner, out of the hat, for a fourball at Handsworth was the Captain, David Gibbs, and the winner of the bottle of wine was Steve Waugh, his winter and summer pairs partner. (it's all getting a bit like Westminster!!)

The winning team by 7 matches and 34.5 mini matches to 4 matches and 31.5 mini matches was the Captains team and the trophy was presented to David by Past Captain Dave Lole (see photo).

A total of £220 was raised for the Captain's Charity. Thanks to all who played.

Full results were

The Stags Christmas competition and lunch was held on Monday 6th December. The weather was not particularly good with intermittent rain and a cold wind which meant not everyone played in the annual competition. However quite a few hardy souls braved the elements and played a "mystery competition", with one club each on the Par three course, in teams of three. Everyone enjoyed the competition and and awaited the results with much anticipation. Lunch was taken, punctuated by some derision at the standard of questions in the annual quiz, all about 2021, this did not take away the attention from the traditional Christmas lunch and anecdotes about Stags golf, matches, individual shots and the normal rubbish spoken of when Stags gather together. No table managed all the correct answers in the quiz, which is not surprising as they were all about 2021 which is hard on our memories. Fortunately all of the non players returned for lunch so we were 49 in total. Before lunch the results of the competition were announced and prizes awarded. In last place, and probably the slowest, were Ron "Dawdlin" Maudlin, Robin Cathcart and Wilf Feely. In first place, eventually after an administrative slip by the ageing and increasingly incompetent Competition Secretary, were David Gibbs, Tim McDonald and David Spillane. Well done to all who played. Lunch was followed by the presentation of trophies for the summer. Before these were presented a special presentation was made to Peter Manger and Tim McDonald who had won the Winter League in 2019 and 2020 without receiving a trophy. A special trophy was forged for them to stop their complaining and presented to them by past Captain Paul Steward. Trophies were then presented to Nigel Palmer , for winning the Stags Nett Championship and the Order of Merit, to Dave Lole for winning the Stags Summer Singles and with David Templeton, the Winter League, to Rob Deeth for jointly winning the Summer Eclectic, David Spillane for coming third in the Order of Merit and to Keith James for winning the Autumn Away Day.

A well deserved presentation of flowers and chocolates was made to Louise by the Stags Captain and Derek Ridley presented the ageing and increasingly incompetent Competition Secretary with a couple bottles of fine wine. It is wondered by many how long incompetence can sustain itself in power.

In spite of all this a great time was had by all.

Away days resumed for the Stags with the Autumn Away day held at the Hollywood Golf Club near Withall. This club had recently changed its name from Gay Hill, which I guess is an illustration of how language changes over time. PG Wodehouse, whose characters often enjoyed gay times, would be turning in his grave. This Away Day, the first since the result of that infamous vote of 2016 came to fruition, was beset by shortages. Shortages of Stags with only 36 attending, shortages of pigs for the supply of bacon, shortages of good scores but thankfully no shortage of generosity as a raffle after the game raised £210 for the Captain's Charity.

The weather started gloomily with a touch of mizzle developing which soaked the course and made shot length for some Stags quite difficult. Thankfully the weather improved and a glimpse of the sun was spotted by some Stags. The course was a delight, however, with lots of hidden traps, a surfeit of streams, loads of bunkers, and plenty of trees to get behind, but also plenty of opportunities to get a good score on a hole. As usual there was a range of scores with a few returning decent scores and many not!

Keith James was victorious, on count back from Keith Borer. Phil Youett won the longest drive by some yards and Malcolm Lunn, the nearest to the pin. Well done to all of them.

The Stags Four Nations tournament was played on Monday 13th September. Unfortunately the participation was down this year and only 34 playing eventually in the competition. However we were blessed with no rain, which had been forecast and some good scores were posted, with most participants wearing team colours. It was good to have the opportunity of playing and chatting afterwards with different players and lunch when it finally arrived was wholesome.

 Congratulations to the eventual winners, by a significant margin of 33 points, Ireland reclaiming the trophy they last held three years ago. Congratulations also to the individual team winners.

 Full results were as follows